323 pounds, yeah that’s right. That’s where I was about a year ago. I guess I didn’t realize how large and unhealthy I’d become because all of my family, friends and co-workers were always raving about how pretty I was. “You have such a beautiful face!”, I’m sick of hearing that. I was never challenged to move around much because my job allows me to set for 8 hours a day in front of a computer. I felt much smaller than I was…….that is until I took my daughters to Busch Gardens for a day of family fun. I’ll never forget it. Me and my girls waited in line for a least an hour for this awesome roller coaster ride that’s bottomless so the seats had a harness overhead that comes down and latches between your legs. We were all excited when it was our turn. We all jumped on a seat side by side and started pulling down the security harness. Well, you can probably guess where this is going. I couldn’t get my security harness to fit. It wouldn’t even come close to latching because my stomach was so large. To save myself from further embarrassment and definitely my daughters from ANY type of embarrassment I immediately jumped off onto the platform that you stand on to exit the ride. I put a huge smile on my face and told my daughters to go on I’ll be waiting for them. Inside I was dying of embarrassment and humiliation. Directly across from the exit platform where I had to stand for the 5 minute wait while my girls were riding was the platform was hundreds of people in line waiting for their turn. I felt them staring and silently making fun of me. I can only describe that experience like the dream everyone has at one time or another of going into a public place nude. It was beyond humiliation, it was sheer torture. I vowed from that day on I was going to find a way to get healthier. I did hundreds of crash diets, very successful in the beginning but not so much for the long haul. I always ended up gaining the weight back and more. I finally decided to get information on the Lap Band System. After 7 months of doctor’s appointments, psychiatric appointments, dietary consults and monthly support group meetings my insurance approved me for the procedure. My journey started on Dec 21, 2010. With the support of my friends and family I’ve currently lost 83 pounds in 10 months. I’ve always had a weight problem and always hated seeing pictures of myself. For the first time in 40 years I actually saw pictures of myself and saw what everyone else had been seeing……a beautiful woman, both inside and now outside. My husband and I renewed our vows on Sept. 17 of this year and took tons of pictures. I was so proud to show off these pictures. For the very first time I felt absolutely lovely. It’s not just because of the weight loss, it’s because of my lifestyle and my mind set is now in a much different place. I’m no longer in a self- destructive mode, I’m in a self-loving mode. I’ve learned that you have to care for and love yourself before you can see yourself for what you truly are. My youngest daughter and my husband has been my rock through this entire transforming journey. They continue to love, encourage and celebrate with me during every milestone. What’s more important is that I am finally allowing myself to celebrate and acknowledge that I am wonderful, I am doing something to make me healthier and to live longer. My journey is honestly just beginning, I have a long way to go but the trip a very exciting and joyful part of my life. I’m definitely a work in progress.
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